Category Archives: Uncategorized

Traits of a Narcissist

  1. Narcissists are (usually) male.   Over half of the narcissists in the world own a penis.  Which kinda explains a lot, no? (sorry boys)
  2. Narcissists are charming. At least at first.  When you meet them, they really seem like they have it all together.  And they’ll make you feel important.    Like you’re the only person in the room.  They always have the best stories.  They’ll make you laugh.
  3. But they also are (usually) looking out for themselves. If they want to be with you, it’s because they want something from you (most of the time).  Money, status, a connection, sex, sympathy… something that they can get from you that makes them feel good… that reinforces their self image and ego (usually) or something that they think you’ll give them that others simply won’t (as-in… they’ve run out of friends to have a pity party with, and you haven’t been to one of those yet, so you’re the new pity-party-person… yay).
  4. Speaking of that, their external self image (at least the one you can see) is huge. Their ego is even larger.  They live with the mentality of entitlement, of invincibility, and of the belief that everyone looks up to them.
  5. Image. Is. Everything. It doesn’t matter what’s going on on the inside (we’ll talk about what lies underneath soon).  What matters, to the Narcissist, is what everyone else sees.  What everyone else thinks.  Photos are important.  Looks are important.  Using said looks to get attention (whether physical attractiveness or other physical features) is super important.  Basically, anything that can bring in more attention, more compliments, is GOOD.  Therefore:
    1. You’ll never see a bad picture of them.   Those are relegated to the depths of the realm of “Under The Bed”.  If they survive the digital deletion on the camera phone.  And the good photos you see have undergone some form of editing or filter.  Every. Single. Time.
    2. Social Media is integral. Think about it… it’s the “Platform of Me”.  Narcissists usually have a large number of “friends” (aka Followers).  If there is a max number of Friends that can be had on their list, they’ve maxed it out and there is a goddamn waiting list.  They use it as a platform to get their ideas out there (the way that most of us do, I guess), but they will spend more time socializing on Social Media than they do socializing in real life.  Even in one-on-one situations, Social Media must know where they are, that they are having a good time, and even if they’re not having a good time, it had better fucking look as if they are having a good time because everyone out there needs to be flipping jealous of the good time they are not having.  It’s the name of the game.
    3. They buy shit. A lot of shit.  They need to look good.  They need to smell good.  They need to keep up with the Joneses.  Money is no object… even when they run out of money, it is no object.  Bankruptcy is totally a thing.  But it’s ok.  Because they’ll look good while being bankrupt.  Well… until the bank comes to take their shit, but that’s totally the bank’s fault.
  6. Name Dropping is totally a thing. The first time you meet them, they’ll start that shit.  It’s supposed to impress you.  What might have been a two second interaction suddenly turns into a thirty-minute life-changing experience that really HAS to be shared.  This goes back to that image thing.  Really it all goes back to that image thing.  But I wanted to make it it’s own thing, because it’s such an important part of who they are.
  7. They’re entitled.   In their world, shit should be given to them, no questions asked.  If shit is not given to them, then they will drop you like a bad habit, complain to their Facebook minions about what a bitch you are, and find a way to get it from someone else.  Getting “it” – whatever “it” is – does not involve doing any of the work themselves.  Nope.  Mooching is the order of the day whenever possible.  Dates will consist of inviting you to dinner, then telling you that you have to pay for it (after it’s already been ordered).  They expect you to wait, too, until they’re ready for you.  Your own timeframe doesn’t matter.  What you need doesn’t matter.  It’s not about you.  It’s about them.  It’s always been about them.
  8. They break all the rules. I mean it makes sense when you think about it… because to a narcissist, who doesn’t really care about anyone else, who doesn’t think that anyone else is important, rules are something that were invented for everyone else to follow.  To a narcissist, rules don’t apply.
  9. Boundaries don’t exist. Your money is their money.  Your food in the fridge is their food in the fridge (and they’ll fucking take it without asking). Aretha Franklin would be PISSED because there is no R-E-S-P-E-C-T here.  They’ll keep pushing… and pushing… and if you keep giving?  Then it’s working.  Because they’re training you for the next time they want something.  Or the next time you’re kept waiting (it’ll be longer).  It’s a cruel fucking kind of conditioning and abuse.  And the worst part is that you won’t know you’re in it until you’re there, you have an oh shit moment, and you’re in too deep to easily dig yourself out.
  10. It’s NEVER THEIR FAULT.   They will have sob stories the likes of which you have never heard.  They’ll tell you about all of the people they’ve gone out with and how horrible all their breakups are.  They’ll be particularly distressed about a couple.  Likewise, their worklife will be just as screwed up – they’ll have lost a lot of jobs for reasons that had nothing to do with them.  People won’t get along with them, but it will (in their opinion) be because of something the other person did.  If arguments are started, it is NEVER because the Narcissist said something out of line.  He or she was merely reacting to something someone else said in a “hyperbolic fashion.”
  11. For that reason, they prefer to be in leadership positions. This isn’t because they necessarily make good leaders (they think they do).  But because:
    1. It provides more job security.  Because they get fired a lot.
    2. They can’t stand for someone to tell them what to do.
    3. In reality, due to the virtues that accompany the narcissism, their employees are often very disgruntled and unhappy.  There’s a high turnover rate (which, of course, is never the Narcissist’s fault because “Underling Number One” was a bad employee anyway and screwed up too many things on the job.).
  1. If they let you see who they really are (which doesn’t happen often), they’re pretty messed up inside. Self esteem is really low (narcissists compensate for low self esteem).  They pretty much hate themselves.  They need thousands of people to tell them how wonderful they are because they don’t “actually” believe in their own self worth.  Pointing out their faults (on the rare occasion that they are actually lucid enough to see them) serves no purpose except to cause them to “Double Down” on the originating Narcissistic behavior.  It is rare that a narcissist seeks help because doing that forces the narcissist to realize that he or she, in fact, DOES have a problem – something that, by nature, the narcissist isn’t able to do.
Advertisements

Back Again

*tap tap*  Is this thing still on?

So it’s been a bit.  I could say I’ve been busy.  I’ve used that excuse before.  And in this case it would be true.  I have been VERY busy.  But I’ve been thinking about this blog a lot, and the only excuse I have for not keeping up with it is that by the time I’m finished being busy, I’m too tired to do anything about it.

So let’s catch up.

I’m in Tampa now.  Permanently.  For good.  Forever.  I’m never leaving again.  I don’t normally like giving the end of the story away at the beginning, but you need to know where I’m going, so there it is.

The last few months I had in Louisville were productive ones.  I was working a part time job at a university (that is primarily a culinary school – though they do other things too), and making significantly less than what I was worth – but the Bell’s Palsy and Shingles went away, and I wasn’t as stressed.  So that was cool.

And since it was part time, I got to be in a move “And Then I Go” – and I got to do a scene with Ele Bardha (who is one of the stunt guys in the TransFormers franchise).  He’s the nicest guy… I got to see a lot of behind the scenes stuff from cell phone photos.  I have a photo of myself with him somewhere.  I’ll have to post it one day when I am able to find it.  I also did a commercial for IGA (Shameless Plug: Youtube video of the commercial is embedded below – I’m the chick in the green and white sweater walking around in the background in the first scene, then on the right in the last scene).

Ultimately, though, I spent a lot of time interviewing for positions to bring me back to Tampa.  The longer I stayed away, the more I missed it.  Our lease in Kentucky was up at the end of the year and I realized that I didn’t want to renew it.  Things weren’t looking so great on the job front – I was getting a lot of interviews, but not a job offer – so I finally decided to do what I do: take a gamble and hope for the best.

So I did.  I used the last little bit of savings that I had to get an AirBnb, a plane ticket, and took a week at the beginning of last December to fly down.  The place I rented was just outside of Oldsmar… it was incredible.  So much better than any hotel I could have gotten.  I had only one interview set up (a second one – I’d done the first one from Kentucky over the phone) but hoped that I’d get more while I was there).  I went through the interview process I started, saw Rogue One with one of my friends, but never got another interview arranged.  I was pretty devastated when I was getting on the plane to come back to Kentucky because I did not know how we were going to manage.  As I boarded the plane, though, my phone rang and a job offer came in.

I now work at a private university here in town as their technical trainer and lab coordinator.  I manage about 40 student employees.  I make more money than I’ve ever made in my life.  My benefits are amazing.  And I get to be downtown every single day.  Ormsby and I packed over Christmas and started driving on New Years Eve– we didn’t really get to have a proper holiday season.

But now it is March.  And here we are.  Back in the apartment complex I used to live in before (but this time near the back – still with the awesome lake view, though… that was not compromisable).  I got a two bedroom this time… a one bedroom like what I had worked for me, but it’s not enough for two people.  I miss my old apartment terribly, and it’s hard being back without Satine, but Milo and Cleo are adjusting nicely and the familiarity is nice.

I truly love my job, too… not just because of the paycheck, but because it’s engaging.  It’s challenging, and it wears me out, but in a really good way.  I love the students I work with, and I’m enjoying making the job “mine”.  Plus, downtown Tampa is one of my favorite areas in the city, and getting to be right in the heart of it is a really great thing.

Ormsby is doing well.  He’s still looking for a job, and that can be disheartening at times – it’s hard getting rejection letter after rejection letter (I remember that from when I was applying), but he’s loving the weather and is still fascinated by the new sights and smells, as well as the animals.

Being single income has been challenging – but I am more than capable of handling it with what I make.  So much so that I was able to pay the bills last month and STILL take us both to Disney World (to see Hollywood Studios and all the Star Wars stuff).  And we’ll be going to Star Wars celebration in April.  I mean it’s in Orlando.  And we’re so close.  Why would we NOT go?  I’ve ordered several costumes, and I’ll wear the Slave Leia costume I wore over Halloween as well for at least one of the days.

So things are out of order a little, but they are getting to be BACK in order – and in a better order than they ever were in.  Life is, at least for me (and hopefully Ormsby will feel this way about it too… eventually) better for me than it is anywhere else.  My potential is greater, my inspiration is better, and my intuition is stronger.

See, Tampa is my home.  I think I’ve always known that… but nothing drove it home harder than when I moved away from it.  I’m glad to be back.  And I’m not moving away from it ever again.

A Crooked Update

So, as it turns out, “neuropathy” (in my case) equals Bell’s Palsy.

I guess I was lucky.  Some people get cases of it that are so bad they can’t close their eyes, or can’t eat solid food.  My case was not ever that bad – though I did sleep with my contacts out for the duration, just in case.   Maybe that’s why mine was so hard to diagnose – the total paralyzation did not last very long, though it was definitely there.  I managed to convince them to give me Prednisone, which I credit to making it go away more quickly.  And it was gone in 2-3 weeks (miraculous, considering many people have it for months).

Simultaneously, I got an ear infection.  It wasn’t that bad – not nearly as bad as some of the ones I had when I was little – but since the ear infection came on at around the same time the Bell’s Palsy did, I can’t help but wonder if they are/were related.  But ear pain (without an infection) is also a symptom of Bell’s Palsy.

Almost overnight, the symptoms in my face went away (though my ear still hurt – that’s when I went to have my ear looked at and realized there was an infection).  The doctor gave me a Z-pack and more Prednisone (for the pressure) to relieve the ear infection.

About a week after I stopped the Prednisone, the twitching came back… but this time on the other side of my face.  I had high hopes that it would not do what the other side had done, but I was not so lucky.

Now it’s the other side of my face that’s crooked.  But only slightly.  Not nearly as drastic as it was the first time.  Same symptoms… ear pain, twitching, slight pulling of the mouth.  But not the eye droop.  It’s not even at a half smile.  There’s just a crease (that looks like a smile line) on one side of my face that’s not in another.  And I stretch that out regularly (so as not to cause wrinkles), and have figured out that I can almost make it disappear.

I have hopes that this side will heal as quickly as the other side did.  But I’m not taking more Prednisone.  That shit wreaks havoc on your immune system and, for me in particular, it causes severe pain in my knees.

But… like I said… it’s not as bad as it was.  Unless it gets worse, I’ll probably tough it out.

Complicated Decisions

I’m in a predicament… a situation… that I’ve never been in before.

It’s my own fault that I got here.  I have spent so much time over the last year beefing up my resume, making sure I was properly qualified for everything I applied for… and I succeeded.

I didn’t expect things to move this fast.

I’ve been applying (very early) for things back in Tampa, thinking it would take months even to get one callback.  Boy was I wrong.  Very wrong.

I don’t have a job offer yet… but I’ve been getting a lot of interest.  And… this is what’s happened:

On Monday I applied for a job with a company that really fits what I’m looking for in my next position.  They are friendly, laid back, easygoing, and the position is something that I’m really familiar with and I already know I’m good at.  During the first interview, the interviewer asked if I was interviewing with anyone else.  I said I wasn’t (which was truthful at the time, as I didn’t have any others scheduled).  He said he’d get back with me next week.  I felt like it went well… I felt like he was interested.  But I continued to wait.

The very next day I got a call about another position.  One that I’m equally qualified for and would be really good at also.  I sailed through that one, had a second one with them today, and have a third one scheduled for next week.  They are obviously moving very fast (and I was told as – such on the phone with the supervisor today).

Now the dilemma –

I told the first guy that I didn’t have any other interviews scheduled.  This was true at the time, but that status has now changed.  And I’m torn between whether I should send the original interviewer a followup letter just to let him know that the status has changed, or if I should just let the cards fall where they will.

Suddenly I feel like I’m being courted by two very eligible, very attractive men and I can’t decide which I should go with… the pretty dark one who has everything I’m looking for, that seems interested, but that is taking a little longer to make up his mind?  Or the blond… equally attractive, is moving a little faster, but just doesn’t “click” the way the first one did…

That’s a question I never really seemed to be able to figure out properly when I was dating either… no wonder this is so hard to do.

Both positions would take me to the location that I want to be.  Both are going to give me the salary requirements I need.  And, remember, I’m a good fit for both… I just fit a little more snugly with the first one.

I’m happy about having decisions to make… I’m overjoyed that the response that I’ve been getting for a move that would have, otherwise, been a big gamble is working out so well.  For the first time in my professional life I’m being given options.  I LOVE having the options…

I guess I just need to figure out what the protocol is.  I may never need it again in my dating life, but who knew that my professional life would become as complicated as my dating life used to be?

The Crooked Kiss

Something has happened to my face.

On Saturday, I went to the grocery store.  I got groceries.  It started to rain.  I didn’t want to wait for it to stop, so I ran to my car, threw the groceries in, put the cart away, got back inside and was soaked… It’s rained a lot here lately.  This was the second time I’d been soaked in my car in two days in a row.  Pulled out my phone to take a selfie to send to Ormsby and noticed that my mouth was off.

Like… crooked.  I checked to make sure I wasn’t accidentally holding it that way.  I wasn’t.  Tried moving it.  It moved back in place (yes, I realize I sound like Potato Head here) but then went crooked again.

It wasn’t that bad… not that noticeable… but I noticed it and I didn’t send the selfie.

By the time Ormsby got home that night, it was even worse.  My right eye was droopy.  My mouth was curved into this involuntary half-smile.  I looked like a stroke patient.

I attributed it to stress.  Because this is what happens when I get stressed out.  Well, not this specifically, but weird shit like this.  In 2006, before my wedding, I lost my ability to walk.  My legs started just… burning… from the inside out.  Like if you imagine a log that’s thrown onto a bonfire and it’s hot and red underneath the bark that’s not really burning yet… that’s what it felt like.  The doctors thought I had MS or a brain tumor.  I definitely did not have a brain tumor.  A second opinion ruled out MS too.

But as the wedding got closer, it got worse and worse until I could barely walk.  My father had to practically support me as I got down the aisle and if it hadn’t been for the prednisone and the valium I don’t know if I’d have made it at all.

It dissipated after several months.  I’d have flare ups now and again, but never like that one time and I joked (after the divorce) that my body just as an adverse reaction to marriage.

It happened again in 2012 when my company was being transferred to Allstate and I was I was in a relationship with 3.0 (who never seemed to be satisfied with who I was or what I was doing).  I didn’t think it was that stressful, really… but then I woke up one morning with double vision.  And a droopy eye.  I think it might have been my right eye then, but I don’t remember.  Again, I got diagnosed with a potential brain tumor or with MS and I went through the whole MRI thing again.  No brain tumor.  Four Xanax and a Contrast MRI later, no MS.  No one could figure out what it was.  We attributed it to stress.

It disappeared by November.

Then Saturday happened.  I spent all day Sunday on the couch… sleeping mostly… waking up once in a while to look at my face.  It was severely depressing to look at – swollen, pulsating (twitching), I did, in fact, look like a stroke patient.  Ormsby begged me to go to a doctor; I didn’t want to at first – I knew what they’d say.  More MRIs, only to find that there’s nothing visibly wrong with me except that I have an anxiety disorder (which we all know).

But by Monday, when this wasn’t any better, and actually got worse the second I walked into work, I told HR that I needed to leave to go to a doctor immediately (she agreed… I looked like shit).  And so I spent the afternoon in the doctor’s office.

Long story short, she thinks I have neuropathy.  Caused by stress and anxiety.  I’ve been referred to a neurologist so they can do some electro-test thing on my brain.  But it’s hard to get into a neurologist here so by the time I get seen, the symptoms will probably have dissipated again (like they do) and I can only hope this partial paralysis doesn’t last.

I think the worst thing is what it’s done to my self esteem.  I don’t even like to look in the mirror anymore.  I hid away in my office all day and internally cringed when my coworkers called me “Droopy.”  Even though I know they didn’t mean anything by it, it brought up too many memories of getting made fun of at school as a child.

Ormsby still seems to be attracted to me, and things are fine here.  Better than fine, actually.  Unlike 3.0, he’s told me he’s not leaving me just because I have some stupid neurological disorder.  And I believe him.  Still, I can’t help but wonder if, when we kiss, it feels as crooked to him as it does to me… Though I know that, even if it did, he’d still kiss me anyway.  Because that’s what love is.  And he’s pretty fantastic that way.

Two Weeks’ Notice

I did something, today, that was either very brave or very stupid.

I put in two weeks’ notice at my job.  I do not have another one lined up (though I do have an interview tomorrow).

I have tried to stick with it while looking for something else, but the truth is, there just isn’t much in my field in this area.  Two years ago, I moved to Louisville, thinking it would be easy to find something that was similar to what I was doing in Tampa.  I was naïve to do that without doing some solid investigation (just because there were listings on a couple of job sites didn’t mean those positions were plentiful – in fact, they’re quite rare here).  I searched for eight months and finally found something, and I was glad to find it… but in doing that I took a $10k pay cut.  I’ve been doing twice the work that I was doing in Tampa.  And the living expenses (believe it or not) are higher here than they were there.  So I haven’t been living comfortably… I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck – something that I swore I would never do again.

And while I was doing that, I was putting up with a LOT of bullshit at work… the environment was toxic.  I mean, really and truly toxic.  I came home defeated, tired, stressed, and cranky every day.  Weekends were far too short.  I never felt like I had a break.  I tried to stick it out… I really did.  I kept thinking that if I just finished putting everything online, if I could just get past this new hire training, if I could just finish filing all the documents away, everything would settle down.  But it didn’t.  And then, to top it all off, they took my salary away.  Made me hourly.  A slave to the clock.  A misclassification (according to the Department of Labor website), but they did it all the same – to save them from having to give me a raise that I absolutely deserve to comply with the new labor law that goes into effect in December.

That was the last straw.  I mean if I was going to struggle, I might as well take something that didn’t require as much work and hate my life a little less, right?

But I still tried to stick it out.  Until I started to get sick.  See, stress has some weird effects on me.  I’ve lost my ability to walk before because I was stressed out.  Not so long ago (about four years ago), I got double vision.  I’ve had MRIs, blood tests, everything… they can’t find the cause of it and it disappears as mysteriously as it came.  The only explanation anyone has for it is stress.  Those symptoms are starting to come back.  Not as bad as they have been, but the fact that I’m having them at all is a warning sign that it’s coming.

So I decided to put in two weeks – to save my dignity, to save my sanity, and probably most importantly, to save my emotional and physical health.

It’s a leap of faith.  It really is.  Because I don’t have anything else waiting for me.  As I sent the message to my boss today, I could envision myself taking a running leap, jumping off a cliff, and hoping and praying that there was something down there to catch me – no matter how far I had to fall.  It hasn’t materialized yet, but, then, it’s only been about 4.5 hours since I told my boss (via email, mind you, because she couldn’t be bothered to answer the email that I sent her earlier this morning to ask her if I could meet with her at some point).

I am looking forward to the break.  Regardless of whether I find a job immediately or not, I’m absolutely taking a week or more off between them.  Because I need to heal… desperately.  I need some kitty time. I need some painting time.  Some writing time. Just time to recover.  To get my thoughts together.  To figure out what comes next.

And, you know, maybe this is what had to happen… maybe I needed to cut ties so that I could very seriously focus my energy on getting back to where I need to be anyway.

I guess we’ll see.

The Engagement

Before I proceed any further, there’s something you have to know that’s integral to the rest of this post: I’m really, truly, very intuitive.  And “it” worked best when I lived in Florida – not, I think, because Florida is like Sedona where intuitives thrive (though it certainly seemed to work that way for me), but because things were clearer for me there (anxiety-wise, family-wise, etc.) for me to understand it properly.  It’s not always specific, but it’s pretty good about giving me a head’s up when there’s something that I need to know about – even if it doesn’t give me the details.

So given that information –

Two years ago my sister got married and I didn’t want to go.  There were a lot of reasons for that, but the biggest one is that that intuition that have was adamantly telling me that if I went, “everything would change.”  It was adamant about that detail.  The rational side of me said this was silly.  I mean, how could things really change – I lived in Florida… whoever she married, I’d see him twice a year… and this wedding would have absolutely no bearing on what I was doing.  I had the vacation time to use, I wasn’t going to lose my job, Botboy (who I was still waiting for at that point) wasn’t due back for two more months, Satine was still healthy then, and I could go up there and come back home with relative ease.  But the intuition wouldn’t shut up.  It kept insisting that if I went, things would change.  And as change has never historically been a boon for me, I shuddered to think what it would mean and decided, adamantly, that I simply wasn’t going to go.

That didn’t fly well, obviously.

So, on May 30, 2014, I boarded a plane, flying into Louisville to stay in a hotel room that I rented for the weekend.  To make things less painful, I’d made plans to meet my friend, and to reconnect with this guy I’d known a long time ago.  See, I thought that the “change” would occur because of something or other that would happen in my hometown.  Making plans in another city, I thought, would be a good “distraction” to what would likely be an uncomfortable situation and, presumably, would keep me away from whatever it was that was going to shatter everything I’d grown accustomed to and had come to love.

But remember how I told you that my intuition, while annoyingly loud sometimes, is not always the most specific?  Yeah.  It wasn’t talking about the wedding at all.  It wasn’t talking about my hometown, either.

Not. At. All.

It was the guy.  Reconnecting with him put all SORTS of things in motion that I could never have foreseen.  I won’t go over what happened in Louisville that weekend (there’s record of it in these blog pages if you don’t already know the story).

From then on, my world changed dramatically.  I spent more time in Louisville over the next six months than I had over the course of four years.  To the point that I decided to pack up all my shit, and my cat (who hated to travel), and move us both back to this place just to be closer to him.

True to form, true to the intuition, true to everything… that weekend did, in fact, change everything.

And things are still changing.

We have decided that, at the end of the year, we are going to move to Tampa again.  Financially that is the better decision for me since the pay is better, there is no state tax, and there is more of a market for what I do.  From a psychological perspective that place is a win as well – the constant sunshine does wonders for my mood and my anxiety issues, and of course I can practice my “religion” more openly without fear of being told that I’m going to hell all the time.  It’s a boon for him, too, in all of the same ways (plus he just LOVES the beach).  We see it as a place where we can give the “best” of ourselves to each other.

Even though the move means I’ll be going home, it won’t be a complete reset.

Because even though it’s a familiar place (for me), things will look very different – I won’t be single, Satine will, unfortunately, not be coming with me this trip (though I may bring her ashes – the jury is still out on what I want to do with them), I’ll be bringing Ormsby in tow with our two new kitties (who will LOVE the sunshine).

But even the Ormsby/Victoria dynamic is going to look drastically different – and it’s going to continue to change – even after we get there.

Because, you see, a little over two years after we kissed for the first time, after we slept together for the first time, we went to Puerto Rico – Lord Ormsby had a three-day job down there, and I got invited to come along (seriously, sometimes my life is like a “Friends” episode).

On our last day there, we went for a walk on the beach.

knees

While on that walk, he got down on one knee and he pulled out a ring.  His proposal was characteristic of him – and of us.  I knew it was coming.  I’d picked out the ring myself.  I’d known he’d purchased it, I even knew what day and time he was going to ask.  Because I REALLY don’t like surprises.  So, in true form for us, we laughed our way through the proposal.

And then, I said yes.  Like three times because he kept pretending he hadn’t heard me.

He’s still in a state of shock.  At almost 43, he had thought this would never happen to him.  I’m in a state of shock, too.  Not because I didn’t think it would or could happen, but because I’m now engaged to the man I first met in a coffee shop ten years ago for a job interview.  I got the job then… And I guess, if you want to look at it practically, you could say I’ve been “hired” for the job now.

There is so much to do, so many plans to make, but we’re excited.

We’re happy.

And that’s what matters.

ring