Cast of Characters

Within the entries of this blog, you’ll find references to several of my exes.  For the sake of their privacy, and because there’s a lot of crossover when we start getting into “real” names – which makes this even more confusing, (and mostly so that they cannot sue me for defamation), I chose to give them all nicknames.

But, someone else pointed out that the nicknames themselves are a little confusing – especially if you don’t have backstories or any sort of history to go on with them.

So here you’ll find a list of people that appear in this blog. Some are exes. Some are friends. Next to each nickname is an annotation that gives a little bit of back-history, timeline, and information about the person that may be useful as you go through the content.

                                     Dating Interests (not a relationship)

The Christian – Years Active: 2012 – Guy I met online in 2012.  We went on a date and a half before I asked him to take me home.  At 32, he still lived with his parents and complained a lot about doing housework.

Broderick – Years Active – 2012 – Guy I met online in 2012.  We had another date and a half.  I liked him at first, but then realized he was kind of lackluster. We simply stopped talking.

2.0 – Years Active: 2011 – 2012. Other Nicknames: Rocketman, The Canadian – Met in 2011.  He lived in Orlando We had one date that year, then another in 2012 that was simply for sex. We talked a little after, but I got hooked up with Botboy, and we stopped chatting.


1.0 – Years Active: 1997 – 2014 (off and on) – Met online in 1997. Met in person in 2001.  Dated from 2001 to 2002. Talked in 2008. Talked again in 2014.  Ultimately I found him to be a little pushy and insensitive and decided, in the end, to walk away.

3.0 (a.k.a. Gatsby) – Years Active: 2012 – 2013.  Dated from 2011 to 2012. Broke up because he was emotionally unavailable and “not sold”. He came back for a final fling in 2013 after Botboy left.  I entertained it, watched him get emotionally attached, then decided he just wasn’t what I needed after all, despite the fact that he was very wealthy.  He’s called “Gatsby” because, like Gatsby, he had everything he could possibly want materially, but couldn’t have what he wanted emotionally.

Mr. Ex – Years Active: 2002 – 2014.  Married in 2006. Divorced in 2008.  Stayed in touch (and tried to get back together, briefly) until 2014.  Lost contact when I moved in with HWMNBN in 2014.

Buttface (a.k.a. Emperor Slade, Emperor Buttface) – Years Active: 1997 – 2014. Met in 1997 on the internet.  Had an internet flirtation, off and on, from 1997 – 2008.  Met in person in 2008 when he moved from Florida to Columbus.  Started an affair that lasted two years.  We never made it “official” I guess – though we agreed that if he started sleeping with someone else he’d tell me because I didn’t want an STD.  I don’t think he held up his end of the bargain (not because I have an STD, but because I found condoms, several times, near his bed when I’d come visit and they weren’t for me – and I always saw the famous “oh shit” look on his face when he’d realized he left them out). He eventually eventually became exclusive with a 17 year old girl (when he was 31) that lived in Oklahoma. We did not talk for a long time, I was pissed at him. We got back in contact in 2010 after I’d moved to Florida.  We remained friends for a little while… but eventually he found someone to be exclusive with and, after that, we stopped talking (which is fairly normal behavior).

Botboy – Years Active: 2013-2014. Met online in 2013.  Got close during Christmas of 2013 when he was stationed in Afghanistan and I was alone over the holidays.  Started an internet fling (relationship?… gf/bf was used) that lasted the length of his deployment, until he came home, took all of his toys (literally) out of my closet, and left me for no apparent reason except that he freaked out. It might’ve had to do with dirty dishes in the sink, but you know what, I think that’s a pretty pathetic reason.  We rekindled contact in late 2013. I agreed to wait for him through another deployment, but when he stopped communicating with me, I decided to begin living my life (though I waited for him, as promised, until his deployment was over)  When he did not come to me, I moved on with Lord Ormsby. In August of 2014, Botboy finally called and during that conversation, he told me that he could not be what I needed him to be. We agreed to remain friends, but when I moved back to Louisville and became exclusive with Lord Ormsby, he dropped the connection.  I have since changed my number, so I do not know if he’s tried to contact me or not.                       

HWMNBN – Years Active: 2005 – Present.  Met in 2005, when I applied for a position with a magazine he was putting together. Worked on the magazine for a few months, then lost contact when I married Mr. Ex. We briefly chatted again after the divorce in 2008, but I did not see him in person again until 2014 when I flew into Louisville for my sister’s wedding.  We hooked up that weekend, then I flew back to Louisville assuming it was a one time thing.  But I kept flying up and back and, eventually, six months later in November of 2014, I moved back to Louisville to live with him.  We got engaged in 2016 in Puerto Rico.  In late 2016 we moved to Florida together.  We broke up in August of 2020 after several years of hardship culminated in one big, earth-shattering event that, it turns out, was impossible for me to walk back from.

The Professor – Years Active: 2002 – Present. Met online in 2002.  Dated through the first half of the year. Broke up because he accepted a teaching job in another state. Talked through 2014, briefly discussed meeting at Disney World in 2013, but he was freshly divorced (and by freshly I mean it wasn’t even final yet) and I wasn’t in a place where I wanted to wait for him.  I was also reeling after Botboy’s abrupt departure and decided I couldn’t be what he needed me to be.  Seven years later, in August of 2020, we got back in contact and have started “talking” again (i.e. – loosely seeing each other?  He’s called “dibs”?  I dunno).  Romance in the time of COVID is weird.


(I have more than two friends – these are just the ones that are in the blog).

Mary – Years Active: 1987 – 2015. Met in elementary school.  Was been my constant Kentucky sidekick for many, many years.

Chuck – Years Active: 2013 – Present. Met at work in 2013. Also a sidekick in Tampa… chat buddy, phone buddy, Adventures of Prowl sidekick, etc.

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