50 Things I Learned While Living in Tampa (and Florida in General)

1.  More curse words than I ever believed existed

2.  How to make up my own.

3.  All about Cybertron, Autobots, Decepticons, and how they’re in hiding all over the world.

4.  Living in Florida does not mean you’ll go to the beach every day.

5.  It also does not mean you’ll be on a perpetual vacation.

6.  You’ll be expected to come home often, but you can’t expect that you’ll be visited also.

7.  Contrary to what I was told all my life, no one is watching or judging everything I do, no one actually       cares, and believing otherwise makes me delusional

8.  I can paint.

9.  When it comes to dating, I am absolutely not nerd-friendly.

10. I am a badass.

11. Earl of Sandwich. ‘Nuff said.

12. Rules were made to be broken.

13. I’ve developed an affinity for spicy Spanish food.

14. How to smoke a hookah.

15. Sally O’Neals. Pizza. Yum.

16. Running combats anger, boredom, anxiety, and it’s also great for brainstorming.

17. Racquetball

18.How to get through airline security quickly and efficiently.

19.Sleep is overrated.

20. I can be a tree stump.

21. I’m not a girly girl (which I think I already knew, but I’ve acquired a greater appreciation of this      quality).

22. When given the choice, and despite the occasional harassment, I’d rather work in an office full of men; there is not as much bitchiness and an overwhelming lack of teary-eyed drama.

23. I do not have a brain tumor.

24. After lots of sprained appendages, a beard burn, wrestling matches, a nosedive off of playground equipment, and a full dental imprint on my upper arm, dating Floridians definitely counts as a contact sport.

25. Moxie tastes weird.

26. Sand is impossible to get out of your car.

27. How to fill out a customs form to ship “coffee” to Afghanistan.

28. Being yelled at in Japanese is just as confusing as being yelled at in English.

29. I am not normal. Again, I think I knew this, but it’s a matter of being comfortable with abnormal

30. That I can, in fact, move 1000 miles away, on my own, and be perfectly okay.

31. How to suspend an entire office from the ceiling, furniture and all.

32. Thai food is incredible.

33. To listen to, and heed, my own intuition, which is correct more often than not.

34. What a Keratin hair treatment looks like.

35. How to run a World of Warcraft guild.

36. Sand is also impossible to get out of your hair.

37. There is nothing, NOTHING, more relaxing in this world than having Rum Runners delivered directly to your beach chair.

38. Cake Vodka. Yes.

39. The joy of being able to drink beer, wine, or vodka shots at work.

40. Flip Flops made of Yoga Mats are simply delightful. Getting to wear them every day is fabulous.

41. Going to the Cupcake Spot on a Sunday and ordering a half dozen, each a different variety, can turn any bad day into a good one.

42. What it’s like to be able to do whatever I like, whenever I like, without having to consciously worry about saving every single penny I make.

43. If I’m going anywhere, I need to leave at least an hour before I’m supposed to arrive. Even if it’s only 5 miles away.

44. How to behave at a Grog Ceremony.

45. After ceremonies are over, I buy my new bffs new shoes from the expensive gift shop.

46. Orlando traffic sucks… at least until you are past International Drive.

47. Skinny Dipping.

48, How to read tarot cards.

49, How to read comic books (this is a skill that is quite different than reading novels).

50. The definition of insanity.

BONUS:  I’d rather be North, jobless, and freezing with someone I care about than hot and gainfully employed in Florida on my own.

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