It’s the beginning of May… it’s hard to believe that summer is almost here. It’s even harder to believe that I have so many things going on this month. Had someone told me back in January how busy May would be, I wouldn’t have believed it.
I started off the month a little roughly. I fell outside when I was doing my mileage – narrowly missed breaking my ankle by shifting my balance and electing to fall forward. I tried to catch myself (which was stupid, I’ll admit it) and ended up scraping up my palms, my shoulder, the side of my right leg, and I hit my head fairly hard on the concrete – hard enough to cause a minor concussion, though I didn’t realize it for what it was until later. I thought maybe it was something like that when, once I’d gotten back inside and gotten myself cleaned up, I wanted to immediately go to sleep. I did not go to sleep for several hours after (thinking that would be a bad idea though, apparently, now doctors think it’s okay to do that after a head injury, provided that there is someone to wake you every few hours to ensure you’re still okay – and Metalhead was here, so that would have been feasible, but I didn’t know that, so whatever). Before going to sleep, Metalhead and I were sitting up, chatting, in the dark and I don’t know what happened – but I suddenly, uncontrollably, vomited. On him. It was mortifying, though he took it well. In fact, he was laughing about it as he got out of bed and went to the shower, tossing his clothes in the laundry basket so that I could wash them later. He got me laughing about it, too, though I was still a little mortified. At any rate, I guess it’s true: you don’t know who your real friends are until you throw up on them and they still talk to you afterward.
And I’m lucky. Nothing is broken. Almost a week post-fall, the scabs are going away, and I’m not dizzy or vomiting anymore. No lasting effects.
The rehabilitation project I was doing with (and for) Metalhead seems to be over. I think he’s doing sufficiently better now – he’s found some anti-anxiety medication that works and while it makes him feel like shit, he is not having panic attacks every day. He’s been staying here for the last two or three weeks – and why not… When he came home three years ago, I was there for him with all of that fallout. Since this round of anxiety was very similar (and also, likely, somewhat related) to three years ago, it made sense. I knew how to handle him. Granted, three years ago it was different. He had a place to live, which was more than what he has now. And I think the homelessness is a BIG, BIG part of what’s put him back here. That and the fact that he really can’t see his way out of it. At any rate, what got him here doesn’t matter – I won’t repeat some of the things we’ve talked about since he’s been staying here. The point is, I had the room. He trusts me. Despite what happened over the summer, he needed a place to go, I could do that for him, and I did it.
I want to make it, once again, abundantly clear: there was nothing, NOTHING sexual about this time around. He slept in my bed because my bed is more comfortable than the futon. And because we agreed that if he started having nightmares or a panic attack, it was easier if he slept there so that I could keep an eye on him and he wouldn’t have to risk falling if he needed me and had to walk from the living room to the bed room in the middle of one of the attacks.
There were many nightmares. I think he got more sleep than I did, since he tossed and turned a lot – for awhile there I was averaging about four hours a night. But it was worth it. By the time he walked out of here, he seemed more settled and he had a plan – not an immediate solution to his problem, but a plan. My job is done, though my door is still open for the time being if he finds himself in need again.
In two weeks, 1.0 will be here for the weekend. I wasn’t expecting any company during the month of May, but I’m excited to see my friend after all these years. I’ve been getting my apartment cleaned up (Metalhead is not the cleanest person in the world – and while the house is mostly clean, towels need to be washed and, since it’s time for the yearly carpet cleaning anyway, I’ve been dry-cleaning the carpets). He won’t be here long – just for a weekend. But it will be long enough to get reacquainted and to show him the city. And I think I’ve mentioned we’ll be taking a road trip up to Orlando to see one of his friends one of those days.
Somewhere in the middle of all of this, I’ve been working on the paintings on my patio. My sister is getting married at the end of the month, and I was at a loss of what to get her. I’m already spending a fortune on this trip – moreso than I normally would since I am staying in a hotel two hours from the wedding to keep the conflict away from her day – but I wanted to get her something. So, I decided to paint something for her. The painting is about two thirds of the way done and somewhere in the middle of all of this cleaning and things I need to finish it. Then I’ll put it in the mail and send it to her – hopefully before her wedding. At least this way I know that no one else has gotten her anything just like it.
And on that note, the end of the month will see her wedding. And I’ll be going up to Kentucky for that. The wedding, really, will be a side-show compared to all of the other things I’ve got planned for the weekend. I’m particularly excited about getting to spend at least one evening/night with my best friend that I don’t get to see very often. She is, I think, my oldest friend (by no means does this mean she is old), and we always have fun when we are together. We’re looking forward to having Famous Dave’s (bbq we both like) and then figuring out what other kinds of trouble we can get into. And of course I’ll be seeing other friends and family while I’m there too – and zip lining in a cavern, visiting an amusement park, and who knows what else.
I’m exhausted just writing about it. But there are many things on tap to make it a good month. And, of course, this means it’s that much closer to when Botboy returns to Tampa. I’m still waiting (in my way, more about that in the next post), but at least the busy-ness of this month will make the time fly.